A Fish Can't Whistle and Neither can I

Sometimes things in your life show up at just the right time. I have been looking a book recommended by a friend, It took me a month to track down a copy – seems it is the most stolen title in the Chapter’s Stores – they can’t keep it on the shelves – strange. My friend said I should read it because it had references to Personality Type. I am always looking for patterns that support or confirm the theory of type – and frankly everywhere I go I see relationships and patterns – and try to see how they fit. I was so engrossed in the ‘doing’ of looking for the patterns in this little book of wisdom that I almost missed the key message. Sometimes things don’t fit – they just are. Of course a fish can’t whistle – it is not in its nature – I can’t whistle either, although I could learn – I choose not to because I choose just to be me. If my environment made it necessary for me to whistle – I would spend a lot of time not being me – and doing something I don’t like to do – just like being in the wrong job or marriage. Most of us spend a lot of time trying to learn to whistle.


The name of the book is ‘the Tao if Pooh’, by Benjamin Hoff. Tao means the way, a way of being and doing, as I read this little gem of a book - of course I saw patterns and connections to the coaching work I do, and to Personality Type – there I was busily trying to fit the characters into one of the four temperaments – making notes in the margins, diagrams at the back of the book – then realized I was missing the point. Yes, there are references or similarities to Personality Type, but that was not the main point. There are many messages in the book, however the main message or theme is ‘just be’ – let things flow – don’t be attached to the outcome. Wow! Sounds like coaching... Go with the flow! This can seem somewhat irresponsible to those who like to have a plan, set goals and work hard, but Hoff explains to Pooh that in fact because we are so busy ‘doing’ – we are not always open to the possibilities that the universe is creating for us, we can’t see the forest for the trees – and that was what was happening to me – enter this little book.

In my work, I encourage clients to get in touch with their authentic self – the being that came into the world hard wired to live a life of purpose. We are all so shaped by our culture, experience and environment – most of us have no idea who or what we really are. Hoff explains P’u, the concept of the uncarved block. “The essence of the principle of the Uncarved Block is that things in their original simplicity contain their own natural power, power that is easily spoiled and lost when that simplicity is changed.

This phenomenon happens to all of us – imagine if we could just take back that power that exists within the uncarved block. What gifts could we bring to the world if we just allowed to ‘be’? Who was I being? Trying to mirror the success of others and following their pattern and their ‘reality’. I was so caught up in - ‘you should be doing or being this’ – that I almost missed the messages the ‘universe’ was sending me. I was not walking my talk, I was trying to be someone else, or something else. The work is not over - I continue to evolve.

“In order to take control of our lives and accomplish something of lasting value, sooner or later we need to learn to Believe. We don’t need to shift our responsibilities onto the shoulders of some deified Spiritual Superman, or sit around and wait for Fate to come knocking on the door. We simply need to believe in the power that’s within us, and use it. When we do that, and stop imitating others and competing against them, things begin to work out for us.”

And So... I am now committed to doing nothing –the wisdom of Tao encourages openness and embracing ‘nothing’, just ‘being’ and not so busy ‘doing’. So what is Nothing according to Pooh?

“It means just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” In other words just being you. Embrace the uncarved block that arrived in the world with a gift to give – it is OK to be where you are, what you are doing – just be open to the possibilities.

A Poem by Pooh...

“ How can you get very far,

If you don’t know Who You Are?

How can you do what you ought,

If you don’t know What You’ve Got?

And if you don’t know Which To Do

Of all the things in front of you,

Then what you’ll have when you are through

Is just a mess without a clue

Of all the best that can come true

If you know What and Which and Who.”

Why Your Brain is like The Wizard of Oz.

What’s behind the green curtain? There is good reason that this children’s story has lasted the test of time. The story of the Wizard of OZ – is an allegory of life, a journey. It is also an allegory of reality and illusion.


The four characters in this classic tale set out on their quest to find what’s important to them. For Dorothy, home, for the Scarecrow, brains, for the Tin Woodman a heart and for the Cowardly Lion courage. Unwittingly it seems, the author L. Frank Baum has struck upon what the core needs are for each of the four personality types.

Dorothy (Gold) wishes nothing but the sense of belonging that being home gives her. “No matter how dreary and gray our homes are, we people of flesh and blood would rather live there than in any other country, be it ever so beautiful. There is no place like home.” Dorothy acts as the ‘accidental leader’ and caregiver for the group. For the Scarecrow (Green), with no brains, feared only a lighted match, yet he yearned to have knowledge. Many times, the scarecrow ‘thinks’ of ways he can help the team to get to the Emerald City. The Tin Woodman (Blue) longed for a heart and to love again. The Tin Woodman cries so hard when he steps on a beetle and crushes it, he rusts up all over again. The Cowardly Lion (Orange) wants to find courage, and longs for the freedom of the forest. He helps his friends by taking charge and getting them out of several scrapes along the journey on the Road of Yellow Brick.

Upon arrival at the Emerald City, the four are disappointed to learn that they must earn what they are asking of the Wizard, they must embark on another journey, where their resolve is tested again. When the quartet arrives back at the Emerald City after killing the Wicked Witch of the West, they ask the Wizard to grant them the wishes he has promised. They quickly discover that the Wizard is a ‘humbug’ – an ordinary man with no powers to grant their wishes. What he does help them to discover is that all along they had inside themselves the very things they wanted the most in life. “Who the real Oz is, when he is in his own form, no living person can tell.”

The four characters are playing out what every one of us does in our own lives. We are born with a set of characteristics that drive our behaviour. Our upbringing and environment help shape us and make us the unique beings we are. Yet, beneath the surface, the core needs and desires we have - and our hard wired mental functions shape every decision and action we take.

Think of your brain as an iceberg – at the tip is our conscious mind – what constitutes our reality, under the surface, is the unconscious – what drives our behaviour. All thoughts happen in the blink of an eye – the brain takes in information- the unconscious decides what is real and gives the message to the conscious mind. The conscious mind believes it has made the decision, this becomes our reality. Our thoughts are filtered through the patterns and beliefs we hold, hard wired and learned throughout our lives. Our brain is like the Wizard of Oz – we see the illusion, we command the conscious brain to do the same things over and over again. This is why we ask ourselves the question – why does this always happen to me?

“Oz himself is the great Wizard... more powerful than all the rest of us together.” Once the green curtain is pulled aside, and we can see the machinations of the ‘Wizard’ – we discover that all that we thought we wanted, we already had, the answers are within. All we thought was real – just an illusion. The magic of the message in the Wizard of Oz is that we have the power to re-wire our brains; we have power over the unconscious. The Wizard shows the characters that they can believe whatever they want and it will become real. “Oz left to himself, smiled to think of his success in giving the Scarecrow and the Tin Woodman and the Lion exactly what they thought they wanted.”

The tale of course has a happy ending with all four characters finding what they sought. They each had to embark upon a journey, a journey of learning – they had to challenge the beliefs and thoughts they carried along with them. Once the illusion was stripped away, each was able to see clearly how to achieve what they truly desired.

Will you draw back the green curtain?


Will you challenge your long held beliefs?

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ireneanderson.com

I know my Personality Type – Now What? Do Nothing!

I hear this all the time – now that I know my Personality Style, Type, Colour – what do I do with that information? NOTHING! That’s right ... nothing. Before you learned this new tool, you reacted to people in all kinds of ways like, getting mad, getting furious, trying to change people – all of which caused you great stress. Why can’t they Be Like Me?! After you learn about personality type – you are freed up to no NOTHING – just observe, relax and forgive, because you know that it’s not about you – it’s just about the other person – how they communicate and behave. You now can be a curious student of human behaviour. Not reacting as you normally would also makes the other person curious – go on try it with your children!


Ok that’s a bit extreme – but I had to get your attention – you see it’s not always appropriate to do nothing. With this new understanding comes a power to change how human relationships are nurtured. You now have the ability to walk in someone else’s shoes – to ‘get’ what goes on inside their brain. So what are the practical applications of the tool? When building rapport as an example? Step back and listen to the other person on a deeper level, listen to the words being used – words are powerful symbols. Observe their body language, energy and make eye contact. People give out a lot of clues about how they are feeling and thinking. Each of the personality types gives out huge clues about ‘what makes them tick’.

Green personality types will generally ask a lot of questions and challenge ideas and concepts. Blue personality types will use a lot of empathic language, and may ask how you feel or how your family is. The Gold Personality Type will be concerned with getting things right – you will hear a lot of ‘shoulds’ in their language. The Orange Persoanlity Type will be direct and often impatient to get the conversation going. Of course, this is only a small indication of the bigger picture – all of our communication is made through personal filters such as upbringing, culture, gender, values and beliefs.

It’s not about what you say – although words are a strong indication of what is being communicated – it’s about how it is being said. 55% of what we say is conveyed by body language and gestures, 38% by the tone of the words we use (how we say it) – only 7% is conveyed verbally. If you step back and try to ‘hear’ what is being communicated through a different lens or filter – your communication will be much more successful – try it!

Irene Anderson is a certified MBTI, True Colors, Personality Dimensions facilitator and a Professional Success Coach.

www.discoveryworkscoaching.com

How finding Purpose is Practical... The Light Bulb Theory.

I know, some of you are rolling your eyes. Another one of those coaches talking about purpose. You hear it everywhere – ‘you are on the planet for a reason’, ‘be your authentic self’ Yadda ... Yadda. Well, I happen to believe that it’s true, but for a different reason. Let’s look at it this way. You are a light bulb – Yep – correct a Light Bulb! All of your life people have been telling you that you are NOT a Light Bulb – you are a turnip! Now, how can a turnip possibly shed light on anyone? How can a turnip show any brightness or show someone the way ahead? Impossible right? A turnip has no practical purpose. But, deep down you know that you have a light that shines, you have seen it before, there have been glimpses of it and sometimes, YES – your light burns bright! You experience a feeling of usefulness and purpose. Yet, you think hmm... - I just cannot fit into that socket, I have no purpose. – What practical use am I? Then one day for the last and final time someone calls you a turnip – and says ‘turnips have no purpose’ - and you REBEL! Yep! You lose it big time and all of your hidden values come pouring out! You didn’t think you had it in you. People are cheering and saying ‘Way to go!’ Off you go... plug yourself into that socket – and WOW! What light you bring! You show others how to shine too and soon you are burning at 100 watts baby! So, why is a Light Bulb like finding your Purpose? A Light Bulb is useful, A Light Bulb is practical. Finding your purpose is practical because you will influence others and yourself when you feel ‘at purpose’. Let you light shine – find you socket and make the world brighter!

http://www.discoveryworkscoaching.com/

Irene Anderson