'10 Tips - It's all about Focus!'

'10 Tips - It's all about Focus!'

I know my Personality Type – Now What? Do Nothing!

I hear this all the time – now that I know my Personality Style, Type, Colour – what do I do with that information? NOTHING! That’s right ... nothing. Before you learned this new tool, you reacted to people in all kinds of ways like, getting mad, getting furious, trying to change people – all of which caused you great stress. Why can’t they Be Like Me?! After you learn about personality type – you are freed up to no NOTHING – just observe, relax and forgive, because you know that it’s not about you – it’s just about the other person – how they communicate and behave. You now can be a curious student of human behaviour. Not reacting as you normally would also makes the other person curious – go on try it with your children!


Ok that’s a bit extreme – but I had to get your attention – you see it’s not always appropriate to do nothing. With this new understanding comes a power to change how human relationships are nurtured. You now have the ability to walk in someone else’s shoes – to ‘get’ what goes on inside their brain. So what are the practical applications of the tool? When building rapport as an example? Step back and listen to the other person on a deeper level, listen to the words being used – words are powerful symbols. Observe their body language, energy and make eye contact. People give out a lot of clues about how they are feeling and thinking. Each of the personality types gives out huge clues about ‘what makes them tick’.

Green personality types will generally ask a lot of questions and challenge ideas and concepts. Blue personality types will use a lot of empathic language, and may ask how you feel or how your family is. The Gold Personality Type will be concerned with getting things right – you will hear a lot of ‘shoulds’ in their language. The Orange Persoanlity Type will be direct and often impatient to get the conversation going. Of course, this is only a small indication of the bigger picture – all of our communication is made through personal filters such as upbringing, culture, gender, values and beliefs.

It’s not about what you say – although words are a strong indication of what is being communicated – it’s about how it is being said. 55% of what we say is conveyed by body language and gestures, 38% by the tone of the words we use (how we say it) – only 7% is conveyed verbally. If you step back and try to ‘hear’ what is being communicated through a different lens or filter – your communication will be much more successful – try it!

Irene Anderson is a certified MBTI, True Colors, Personality Dimensions facilitator and a Professional Success Coach.

www.discoveryworkscoaching.com

How finding Purpose is Practical... The Light Bulb Theory.

I know, some of you are rolling your eyes. Another one of those coaches talking about purpose. You hear it everywhere – ‘you are on the planet for a reason’, ‘be your authentic self’ Yadda ... Yadda. Well, I happen to believe that it’s true, but for a different reason. Let’s look at it this way. You are a light bulb – Yep – correct a Light Bulb! All of your life people have been telling you that you are NOT a Light Bulb – you are a turnip! Now, how can a turnip possibly shed light on anyone? How can a turnip show any brightness or show someone the way ahead? Impossible right? A turnip has no practical purpose. But, deep down you know that you have a light that shines, you have seen it before, there have been glimpses of it and sometimes, YES – your light burns bright! You experience a feeling of usefulness and purpose. Yet, you think hmm... - I just cannot fit into that socket, I have no purpose. – What practical use am I? Then one day for the last and final time someone calls you a turnip – and says ‘turnips have no purpose’ - and you REBEL! Yep! You lose it big time and all of your hidden values come pouring out! You didn’t think you had it in you. People are cheering and saying ‘Way to go!’ Off you go... plug yourself into that socket – and WOW! What light you bring! You show others how to shine too and soon you are burning at 100 watts baby! So, why is a Light Bulb like finding your Purpose? A Light Bulb is useful, A Light Bulb is practical. Finding your purpose is practical because you will influence others and yourself when you feel ‘at purpose’. Let you light shine – find you socket and make the world brighter!

http://www.discoveryworkscoaching.com/

Irene Anderson

When I am an Old Woman... by Jenny Joseph

Warning - by Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple

With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

And run my stick along the public railings

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick the flowers in other peoples' gardens

And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go

Or only bread and pickles for a week

And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

And pay our rent and not swear in the street

And set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Is Your Cheese Old?

The parable in the little book "Who Moved My Cheese"  is all about how we react to change - or don't react to it - and what the consequences can be.

"Old Beliefs Do Not Lead You to New Cheese"

Does everything you do turn out the way you planned? Not likely... You can spend countless hours and money marketing and networking and maybe things are not percolating along the way you want. Ask yourself - am I making the same assumptions, am I doing the same things? or - am I sourcing out new cheese?

"Having Cheese Makes You Happy"

Of course it does - we all want success, we deserve it right? We worked hard! What happens when the cheese is gone? We ask - how did that happen? It's not fair! We tend to blame.

"The Quicker You Let Go Of Old Cheese, The Sooner You Find New Cheese."

Move on...that's right - get on with the adventure - step out of your comfort zone. When I try a new service or workshop out - sometimes it doesn't fly - so, I go back - turn it on its head and re-think. Usually, I end up on a completely different path from the one I intended, but that's OK - keep your eyes and ears open for new adventures, partnerships and opportunities. It will all work out.

"Move With The Cheese And Enjoy It!"

Sniff - out the situation and see change coming.
Scurry - get into and stay in action immediately.
Hem - don't be Hem - staying where you are will not work.
Haw - Haw did not believe in himself and followed Hem. Step out of your fear - be bold.

I hope this little parable will help you to Sniff and Scurry your way to success.

discoveryworkscoaching.com
ireneanderson.com

Making Sausages - The Big Shiny Dream

I am a real believer that your dreams give you real clues to what messages your brain is giving you – good or bad. I find that in times of stress (even when I don’t think I am stressed) I dream a lot – vivid involved dreams that are giving me clues about what to do next, what path to take.
I had a dream the other night that I started another business, making sausages – Wow! What a stretch that would be – for me uncharted territory!

Now, I love to cook – but making sausages from scratch is just not something I would do. In my dream, which was vivid and in full technicolour – I was involved in the process from start to finish (except the slaughter part – ick) – although the details were sketchy, I could visualize the process and saw and touched the end result – four beautiful organic sausages in a shiny, colourful plastic package. A work of Art!

And then I woke up – before I had to market and sell the product – thank goodness!

So what were the clues in this dream that could help me in my business? I know I had been struggling with focus and doing only one thing and doing it well. Not only that, I was getting myself involved in projects that were not necessarily serving my business. I believe the dream was telling me to re-focus, do what I am great at, and not get sidetracked with ‘shiny packaging’ or new ventures that, yes I could do well in but are not necessarily what my purpose is.

Our dreams can help us to focus on what’s really important, if you wake up after such a dream – try to write down what the dream was and later – ask yourself – what is my unconscious mind trying to tell me? This dream was telling me, align your goals and projects with your values (I love sausages, but I value human growth and potential more) – be focussed about your business – you cannot do it all. Although I encourage other women to tap into their super powers (best strengths), I can also share that we are only Superwoman when we are focussed on our strengths.

Hmm, I think I smell breakfast cooking...

I recommend “The Power of Focus”, by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Les Hewitt

“ I ain’t in a Slump – I’m just not Hitting!”

 One of my favourites, Yogi had a way of saying things that hit the nail on the head - in a funny kind of way. I would be willing to bet that every entrepreneur or self employed person has at least once a week - that nagging doubt - that voice that says "Am I doing the right thing?" Not just self employed people either - people in the corporate world especially in today's economy may not feel comfortable - with a proverbial axe over their heads. My day is Thursday - for some reason that's the day my gremlin shows up. It shows up as a nagging unease in the gut, and can if I let it stop me from getting up in the morning. So how do we stop this little guy or gal gremlin in it's tracks? Face up to him or her, acknowledge his or her existence and try to understand what message s/he is giving you - thank him/her for their input - say " Thanks for the advice" - and get moving. Just keep moving - do something - action works. If you are sitting at your desk and stumped for an idea, take a walk! Change the scenery. Self doubt is a real killer, it can kill your business and your confidence. Keep telling yourself how great you are - I mean it - it works! Believing in yourself is key to moving forward, if you don't believe in yourself no-one else will. As Yogi says "That's how I kept myself positive, by not getting all Negative." Ah - what great words of wisdom! Keep positive - your slump will disappear - keep believing in yourself. You are FANTASTIC!

Hitting The Wall

I  just listened to a podcast about transition and 'Hitting the Wall' - wow in that less than 2 minute blurb, a million thoughts started to go through my head. On another call last night my coach said “transition is ubiquitous’ – in other words life is always throwing stuff at us that pushes us into transition - nothing is static or same especially in these challenging times. I don’t know about you, but almost every friend or acquaintance I have has been touched by layoffs, downsizing, bankruptcy or just plain bad bosses, they now find themselves in middle age having to look for alternate employment - and in many cases settle for what we used to call McJobs.

A friend shared with me last night the plight of a group of long term employees who just heard that they have lost their jobs. Many have worked at this firm for over 25 years- that’s a lifetime with friends who have become family – that’s hard to give up, what a crushing blow. Many were escorted out of the building by security guards – how humiliating! I know how heartbroken they felt. I myself remember a similar closure at the same company where one of my team - a woman with over 25 years at this company left with her belongings in a green garbage bag. I will never forget that image; I will never forget the tears and the heartbreak.

What does this do for your confidence? Many will go through the normal stages of grief:

Denial – This didn’t happen - I can’t believe it!
Anger - It’s not fair – why me?
Bargaining – What if I can change this? Get my job back?
Depression – There may be lots of time on the couch in front of the TV
Acceptance – This is the stage where you finally realize that you cannot change the situation and this is where you will find the momentum to move on.

Many people ‘Hit the wall’ and never get back up. Over our many years of experience we collect so much training and wisdom, only to end up being marginalized or thought of as ‘past our Sell by Date’. What a shame, that our society sees wisdom and experience as ‘past it’. I myself have hit that wall on many occasions, and even now – hit the wall occasionally. So how do you manage to get up – brush yourself off and keep going?

The first step is taking back your confidence, learning and knowing that you are worthy and that you have an amazing gift to give the world. Every human being has this gift inside. The good news is that there is a road back – there is help along the way. The trick is to keep believing in yourself, even if you can only do it for one day a week, after a while, you will find yourself doing it more often. For me, coaching does it for me, whether it is one on one or in a group setting – talking things through with someone really helps.

So, what’s your wall?

- Lost your job?
- Stuck for a new idea?
- Business in a slump?
- In trouble at work?
- Single Mom struggling with bills?
- Stay at home mom feeling isolated?

Inside this gift of TRANSITION, there is an opportunity just waiting to be uncovered. It is a new beginning waiting to be unwrapped, with a voyage of adventure and challenge on the other side.

Accept your gift – it’s yours for the taking!

Who's sailing with you on your journey?

My mother always told me to watch the company I kept – of course what did she know? Seems she knew quite a lot. Whether we like it or not we are influenced by the people we hang around with, and others judge us by the company we keep.
There is an old exercise that has you choose who you would have in your lifeboat if you were cast adrift, your compass out of whack – your oars overboard. This is such a useful exercise to use when you are at your lowest ebb (pardon the pun) and need to draw upon the people who most influence and support you in a positive way.
This is a great journal exercise – come back to it again and again to see if you choose the same people – you must choose 9 people – here are the rules:

First, the people you select to accompany you in your lifeboat must be individuals you really want to be there. Adding family members because you think you should, could sink your boat.
Second, the nine people chosen can be alive or dead, however you must have known them personally – William Shakespeare doesn’t count – come on… no way you could have known him!

Make your list of people who you really count on:
- Who is there with a shoulder to cry on?
- Who helps you out when you are too sick to drive the kids to school?
- Who congratulates you on the terrific job you are doing?
- Who tells you like it is when you are being self indulgent?
- Who looks for opportunities to help you build your business or career?

You get the picture – come back to this list every time you need to know who your loyal fans are, who gets you – who you can count on.
Have some fun with this, draw pictures, write a story about how you finally survive. Bon Voyage! May the Winds speed you on your journey!

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mylifecompass.com/ireneA